Finding Her
by impossible123
Summary: AU leading Hell Bent. The Doctor wants his companion back, and is willing to do anything to do so. Yet, he what he finds is far different than what he expects. [Potential spoilers for Twice Upon a Time, so read with caution for anyone who hasn't yet seen it for some reason or another.]
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: wanted to post the first chapter of this fanfic today, due to 4 months since the appearance of Clara Oswald in Twice Upon a Time.**_

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The sound of the TARDIS was heard echoing outside the Citadel.

Soon after, the Doctor went out, clad with red velvet coat and locked the TARDIS. His look was menacing as he looked up to the female general, looking outward from the window.

The Doctor was soon in the conference room, sitting in the president's place. After all, he was still the President of Gallifrey.

"I see you want something from us, since you came back." Said Ohila.

"You know what I want." Growled the Doctor. He was still very very angry for the 4 and a half billion years worth of pain the Time Lords had given him.

The Time Lords.

 _His people!_

This is the thanks he gets for saving Gallifrey?

And after all, it still hurt him that they had also caused such pain not only to him. But to her, too.

The agony felt so long ago by the person he barely remembered but yet, held close to his heart.

 _The first face his face saw._

"I want Clara Oswald back."

"We can't tell you were she is." Ohila answered.

"And why is that?"

Ohila and the general exchanged looks. There was nothing but silence.

"So?" The Doctor's irritated voice boomed across the room.

Ohila whispered. "She has already come to us Doctor. We placed her back in her timeline, just as she wanted." The Doctor kept staring at Ohila, his eyes boring into her soul, so much so she was very uncomfortable. He felt his hearts shatter into many uncountable fragments.

The Doctor suddenly woke up and headed towards the door, jaws and fists tightly clenched when Ohila stood up and blocked his path.

She grabbed his arms. "You know what would happen! Paradoxes that would destroy everything."

"I've already saved Clara and nothing happened. No Universe crumbled like you said it would." He was determined, and no one could stop him.

"But this time it's definite, Doctor. I watched over her from when she came here till when she stepped in her place on Trap Street. Doctor, she never wanted you to know, but she knows you too well. The girl knew you would come and do everything to stop her. And you didn't appear. If you go back in time now, the destruction would be terrible. Just to try and save her when the Universe she lives in would crumble, and her with it. You both, and everyone would die. All because of your egoism Doctor. And you would have gained nothing but pain and destruction."

The Doctor was on the verge of crying. Ohila kept on talking to him, this time with a calmer voice.

"I know she means a lot to you Doctor, but you can do nothing." The Doctor broke down in sobs as he collapsed to his knees, his face in his hands.

He calmed down and looked up. This time, there was the general too behind Ohila.

"Extract her again."

"You know we can't Sir." Said the General.

"I've done it before, it can happen again. Extract her!" Anger replaced his sadness which filled his heart.

"It'll cost her too much. Not just the Universe, but her." Ohila said. "She wanted to die in peace, Doctor. If you really love her, just let her be. Make her happy by giving her a dignified death."

"She told you everything, didn't she?" The Doctor breathed a laugh. He could remember that she was a control freak. But that didn't matter.

She was _his_ control freak.

The woman nodded. "But she made me promise something."

The Doctor's eyes were pleading Ohila to tell him everything they knew about Clara. The only thing he knew was the things they had done, how he had saved her... But he didn't remember the most important person in all of those memories.

Clara herself.

"She left you a message and has accepted that we would return your memories back by a reverse neuroblock memory resurface. She didn't want you to suffer not knowing who she was in your life. Clara knew you would never forgive yourself if she didn't let you."

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 _ **A/N: First chapter of 2 ;) Hope you enjoyed it :D Hopefull, posting the next chapter on Friday**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: The final chapter of this fanfic... Just in time of Jenna Coleman's birthday XD Hope u enjoy. Brace for feelz. If you thought the last chapter had too much pain... It will only get worse. I'm sorry.**_

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The Doctor sat down on the chair as the screen lit up. He was still shaking. The Time Lords had reversed the neuroblocked memories and could remember everything. He understood all the things he had said to the waitress... It was her. He was narrating her story.

 _Their_ story.

But he hadn't recognise her, and he had told the young waitress that if he would ever meet this mysterious Clara again, he would absolutely know...

A hologram of Clara in her waitress clothes appeared just a few steps away from him.

"Hello daft old man." Clara's smile pierced his soul. He hadn't seen that smile in so long. It was almost automatic for him to smile his brightest grin and it brought tears to his eyes.

The same as he had last seen her... With her saucer eyes, her short stature...

"I know you'd come here. Because you can't stop until you've got answers for everything don't you, Doctor?" She laughed so hard, but he could see the brokenness in her eyes, even though she was just a hologram.

He hadn't come in time to stop her from going back to her death.

"This is why I've recorded this. So you could bring your memories back and rest assured that I am at peace. I didn't want that last conversation of ours in my TARDIS to be my final message, Doctor. And this is the only way I could get to you without hurting each other.

I've watched your every step, I've heard your every thought from a distance. I just couldn't bare that you'd be living the rest of your lifetime trying to find a companion who was condemned to death so many years ago. You have to do what you've always done; move on, and be a Doctor.

Don't let this anger of yours take over your life. It already took you 4 and a half billion years and threatened the Universe. But this is my destiny, why I ran so fast and why I never died before. Because I've decided to take the chronolock upon me and face the Raven. It was my fault and I am ready to suffer the consequences bravely.

I never wanted you to follow me. I always want you to remember me as Clara, with wide smiles and inflated saucers for eyes."

Clara breath a smile as her eyes filled with tears, and the Doctor couldn't help himself but do the same.

"All I ask you is one thing. Run you daft old man, and remember me. And you better do that... Because quite frankly... forgetting me was offensive."

They both laughed.

 _It was his same old Clara after all, always laughing and joking, even in the most serious of times._

The Doctor sat up from the chair, his knees threatening to give way, and feebly walked in front of the hologram. Her hologram was focusing at his shoulder. After all, it was only a projection.

He tried to caress her hologram cheekbone with the back of his fingers as more tears made their way down his face, trying his best to feel her soft skin. They both were broken on the inside, but at least this is the best they could've hoped for.

Loving each other so much, that they were willing to tear the Universe apart.

 _Two souls condemned never to meet each other again._

"Thank you Doctor, for all the wonderful adventures you've given me, for the love and patience you've always showed me, even in the darkest of times."

 _Oh yes,_ the Doctor though. _P.E._

"I love you too, Doctor. Have and always will."

That loving smile...

"Remember me."

And the hologram faded, leaving the Doctor alone, his hearts stuck in his throat and bloodshot eyes.

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 _ **A/N: Hope you loved this fanfic. Reviews appreciated as always!**_


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